Breathing is for sissies

I thought I was all set up to have a great night of Friday racing. I caught up on all my desperately needed sleep the past 2 days, and even played hookie Friday so that I could sleep in and relax for once. I was rested, hydrated, fed, got my vitamin dope the day before....what could be better?

10 Lap Tempo - One big sprint into the race and my tongue doubles in size and my entire mouth is swollen and I can't breathe. I watch the entire pack swoop by me as I try to keep pedaling and freaking out at the same time. The rest of the race I watch them string out from the other side of the track. 8 laps in I mercifully get lapped and pull the fuck out.

First intermission - Meltdown #1. My life is over. I'm selling all my shit. I have no idea what just happened to me. Being blown off the back in front of hundreds of people is not my idea fun. Having my whole mouth swell up is not my idea of fun.

Miss n' Out - Too stubborn to drop out just yet, I make it about halfway through the race by sprinting around the pack up-track. The paced is manageable enough that my mouth isn't quite as swollen any more but I feel like I'm breathing shards of glass.

Second intermission - Meltdown #2. I'm afraid that I'm allergic to my inhaler and I'll never make it out to race again. No one around me can explain what might be happening so of course I fear the worst. I finally summon the courage to go talk to Kenny without having a meltdown in front of him. Within seconds he explains that the hot dry air is sucking all the moisture out of my mouth and lungs and that I need to stick a piece of gum up in my mouth during the race and it will all be good.

J: "But I've never had this happen before."
K: "Well you just did."
J: "But it's never happened before."
K: "But it just did."
J: "But it didn't happen on Wed or ever before."
K: "You weren't exerting yourself under these conditions before."
J: "Yes I was."
K: "No you weren't."
J: "But it's not really that dry out. It's Seattle. There's still humidity in the air."
K: "Yes it is really dry tonight. Trust me. It happens to me all the time. Try it in this last race and we'll go from there."
J: "I'm tired of getting old."

So Kenny gives me a piece of gum and I go along my way questioning whether this old wives tale will keep me from being humiliated yet again.

4x5 - I tell myself that I'll try 5 laps and if I can't breathe I'll drop out. Miraculously, the gum I'm playing with in my cheek is keeping my mouth from drying out and I can breathe and actually stick with the pack and even chase down some attacks. I finish the race with everyone else, minus any points, but my faith somewhat restored. I find Kenny right after and ask him if anyone's told him that he actually knows what he's talking about. John Hanson is within earshot and cracks up. Kenny smiles and pats me on the head. I end the night a little smarter.

Sprint Mania!

Last night was the first Sprint Mania event. Groups of 3 riders, seeded by previous 200m times, did three 2-lap heats over the course of the evening. I was SO excited to finally participate! I'd been waiting 2 years and now I was actually able to race. I had an idea of how a sprint race was supposed to work. Jane and I have been "playing reindeer games" on Sundays when we get bored with our regular workout. It's a total blast to psyche out your competitor or find ways to hide and get the jump on them.

They let the really fast guys go out first so we all sat around watching their tactics and listening to Bilko scream from the infield "GOOOOOO!!! GOOOOOO!!!!" whenever he saw a perfect opportunity for someone to get the jump. It was even funnier because no one could hear him or knew what an opening they had so they'd just keep rolling around looking at each other, which made Bilko even more frustrated and animated.

In our first heat, I got up high and was going to let my 2 competitors make a jump so they could lead me out. There was a wicked headwind on the backstretch so I didn't think I could hold it the whole way. Lesson #1 - I hesitated just enough when they jumped so I missed their wheel and couldn't make up the ground and came in 3rd. Rats. Never again!

After watching another round of the other riders, it was very apparent that 9 times out of 10, the person who surprises the others keeps their lead and wins. So in my 2nd heat I led the others around crazy slow and kept an eye to see if they were planning anything and tried a few fakey moves. But the second time on Turn 1, I decided to surprise them and got the jump. I sprinted as hard as I could and never looked back, but about 10 meters from the finish, the guy in our heat started to come around me. Good enough for 2nd and if I'd been a bit stronger could have won it. My sneak attack was fun and seemed to work well.

Third heat - take no prisoners. Again I led them around super slow. I knew that I didn't have real sprinters with me so no need to give them an advantage by ramping up the speed. At Turn 4 one of them went, albeit a little too slowly and not with the best commitment, so we got on her wheel and let her pull us around. At the turn for the finish I went around the first two and just nipped Lara at the end. Finally!

It was a really fun night and we all learned a lot. This sprinting thing is a GAS! I'd much prefer a thinking, tactical, 800 meter game over a boring 40 mile road race any day. At some point I hit 32.2 mph. Gotta beef up the legs even more!

Mountain Angels

Blessed are the angels who volunteered yesterday to search for and recover the 3 men who disappeared in the Crystal Mountain backcountry this winter. My friend and coworker, Dave, lost his best friend Phil in this accident. Thank you for helping to bring peace to Dave and the other family members who lost their friends, sons, and lovers. You changed their lives forever yesterday. You found the lost souls and reunited them with their loved ones. I love you Zack and am so proud of you to have been part of such a gracious effort. May you all be safe, smart, and strong in your journeys to the mountains.

Balancing life is haaaaaaard

If you saw me race tonight, I totally sucked. Thanks for being a sport and cheering for me. This was the first anything that I've done in 3 weeks and the humiliation was only amplified by being awarded 4th place for the pre-season races in their little award show at the beginning of the night. Really! I used to be kinda good! Ok I did come out of the races with 2 Positives: helped Jane win a prime and held off Tamara for my own prime until that wiley Amara dove down over us to nip it from me. I'll keep my eye on that one.

But tonight my legs were mushy appendages of overcooked asparagus. I've lost all my power and felt like that 90" gear I owned so well in May was more like 190". At one anoxic point in the first race I literally looked down to see if a brake was rubbing on my rim. D'oh! Couldn't use that excuse.

I don't know how racers balance everything in their lives. Some are lucky and only have to focus on eating and training. Others even have kids. Throw in a job that takes you away and health issues and everything else that ticks off the minutes of the day and you're living your own Amazing Race from dawn til dusk (and after). I guess it's just one day at a time and do that best you can. It sucks that you can be so close to achieving that sense of balance and the universe aligns to make everything perfect, but then inevitable chaos intervenes shortly there after to humble your ass. Balance. Somehow. Some way. Some times.

Paula Remounts

What to do on a Friday morning instead of getting ready for work? Figure out your bike porn name! This should keep you entertained through the weekend.

It's June. It's cold and rainy.

I've been feeling mighty funky and un-momo-tivated to do anything since being in NH for work 2 weeks ago. Think I caught a little bug that's wrecked just enough havoc with my immune system to sap my energy and the Puget Sound region's March-like weather hasn't helped. Haven't done a decent workout in 3 weeks! And I get to go back to NH next week so that we can finish this LARP business and nuke Portsmouth Harbor so my race fitness will hardly improve. I'm wavering between continuing the quest to become healthy and strong and fast again and just throwing in the towel and drinking delicious Belgian beer every night and tooling around for the rest of my life on Kermit. So within reach.....

One definite major goal that I'm obsessed with is the Marymoor Little 100 this Saturday. I love bikes. I love costumes. I love racing bikes in costumes. Jane, Ed, Scott and I will be out to secure the Co-Ed and Best Costume Title. Not convinced? Oh you will be.

Because Hillary is DONE

I love the timing of the universe. I ordered 20 of these spokecards a few weeks ago from a nice person who was making them, and subsequently was sent 54 plus a handful of larger stickers. Let me know if you're interested in helping to unload them!