I am annoyed
I got my labs back from my latest EBV tests. I was expecting my numbers to continue their positive trend south, which would be a expected with all the dragon poo I've been drinking and sitting on my ass the past 6 months. But no. My Nuclear Ab numbers went UP. I was 647 in June and now I'm at 1001. Normals are <100. My highest last year was 1736 when I was really on my ass. I was shooting for sub-300 so I'm a little numb with shock and a fair dose of denial. I'll call Dr. Peter tomorrow and see what he says, but I think his bag of tricks is pretty empty. I've been feeling rather excellent and have begun the arduous phase of getting my cardio back, but if my numbers are so screwed I'll never know if I'm getting sick again until it's too late. If you can't count on data to tell you how your health is then what is there?
I had started a cleansing diet this week to try and reboot my system after all the crap it's been through the past 6 months, esp in anticipation of my new "better" numbers. But now those bottles of wine are looking mighty tasty.
Stupid dumb body health stuff. Leave me alone!!!!!!!!
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Ok after a short pity party, I found some inspiring information about athletes with chronic fatigue syndrome. It turns out that US Women's Soccer Team star Michele Akers has suffered with it for years, but managed to control it enough to stay at her elite level before retiring. Says she:
"It's taken me three years to get back. When I first decided to take six months off and tried training again, I was in the weight room, like, 15 minutes, and then I could go on a five-minute walk/ jog. It's taken me three years to get my body back.....I never know who is going to show up on the field, who I'm going to be from day to day. So to hear my coach say today that he's so proud of me, that they need me on the field to win, was good. I disappoint myself so much because I know what kind of player I can be. But I've learned I can contribute in spite of [limitations on] my playing ability."
Maybe all is not lost. Rest, recouperate, moderation, keep playing. I can do that.
4 comments:
"I disappoint myself so much because I know what kind of player I can be. But I've learned I can contribute in spite of [limitations on] my playing ability."... oh man, that makes me want to cry!
If you are shopping around for a new naturopath, may I suggest Drs. Eva Miller or Bruce Milliman at Seattle Healing Arts (in Ravenna). They are big on running labs and are like... super diagnosticians.
They were the first people to figure out that I was clinically malnourished due to the fact that I wasn't metabolizing fat and protein like a normal person. When I started taking the prescribed enzymes, my energy shot way up...
It may be that EBV is not the biggest problem you have (that sounds horrible but I don't mean it that way), and that there are other things you could do that might make a bigger difference in your energy level.
NFC, really... I think it's good to shop around and get 3rd, 4th, 5th opinions... it doesn't make you a "problem patient"... it just makes you resourceful.
Of course the amount of energy you expend talking to doctors and going to appointments could negate the energy you gain by trying out their ideas. (About 95% kidding, there... :P)
There is only so much others can do for us . I have read some of Carolynn Myss' work and have listen to her CD collection about Energy Medicine. Its brilliant and makes so much sense. If you create a consciousness about your own healing, you can make it happen. Its actually real, but you must feel it. She has a morning routine to work through. It has changed my life. View her books at http://www.amazon.com/Science-Medical-Intuition-Self-Diagnosis-Healing/dp/1591790069/ref=pd_sim_b_2/102-8479884-9704935
Grhttp://myss.com/library/practice/morning.asp
Jess - You totally know where I'm coming from. I'm so tired of talking to docs and not trusting if they know what they're doing with me, but it takes so much energy to research other docs and put your trust (and $$) into them. My coworker and I were talking about this exact thing. I'm going to take a mental break for now and maybe revisit in a month. I'm still convinced there is a tweak that needs to be done, but what tweak, I have no idea. Thanks for the reference, I'll keep them in mind. The saga continues....
Lisa - Thank you so much for that insight. When I was sick last year, I had dream after dream of coming back and passing person after person in the races and being so strong. Then I did come back and it came true. I even had a dream that I lapped people at Mason Lake!
This year, no dreams. It's like my subconscious doesn't believe it can happen again after so many setbacks. I would love to look into those books and put the faith back in my subconscious. It's an even more important arsenal than all the magic potions. Thanks!
I had such a bad medical day a couple months ago that I said to myself, "Fuck it, I'm not even going to try anymore!" I had never considered the possibility of just giving up and letting my conditions take their course... the idea of not going to appointments and spending so much time worrying and plotting and taking pills and researching seemed so appealing...
But that feeling passed... I think mostly what I have learned so far is patience about all this stuff. I have a new physical therapist, and she warned me that such-and-such result could take about two months to materialize, as if this were some daunting length of time. I laughed and told her two months was nothing to me.
I also told her that I want to do cross next year and she told me that was a reasonable goal. I just about pissed myself!
Regarding the mind-body connection, I highly recommend the book, "When the body says no" by Dr. Gabor Maté. An incredible book... (and sciency too!)
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