Wedded bike bliss

Down south in the Bikeopolis of Portland, a life-long union was blessed when a girl and her beloved Vanilla bike (jealous!) were married in front of friends by an ordained minister. How utterly splended! The bride wore a light blue satin dress to match her bike's baby blue and white color scheme. They laughed, they kissed, they rode off into the sunset....around the block...and will live happily ever after. Their vows:

Do you, Vanilla promise:
…to dissassemble easily for travel…
…to stop and to go…
…to bomb and to climb…
…to shift smoothly and roll swiftly…
…to bear Elicia wherever she may take you…
…to have and to carry till death do you part?

And do you, Elicia promise:
…to ride Vanilla like a stallion…
…to oil him down…
…to lock him up…
…to bring him in out of the rain…
…to use him in that special way…
…to take him with you everywhere?
…to have and to ride till death to you part?

And check out the new bride's Princess Leia tattoo. Kick ass! My only beef is where was Sacha?? Hello - a custom Vanilla titanium ring!

I can't keep track of what states have legalized same-sex marriages, but Rosemary and I would do well to take eternal vows. I see the wedding in the San Juans over looking the water, lots of multi-colored gerbera daisies, she sparkly and clean for once in her life, me out of my stinky wool and in a dress for once in my life, friends surrounding us with their shiny bikes too. Girls holding bouquets of fresh flowers. And men in bow ties! And a huge beachside fish bake to celebrate with lots of brandy to go around. But no PBR! Blech!!!