Revenge of the Vegi

I picked up a nasty stowaway on the vegan train. Not quite full blown food poisoning, but enough to make me lose 2 days of work the past 5 days and feel like a shrinking Hollywood starlet. It seems to have set up camp and is taking great humor in watching me suffer. I haven't been able to even look at a vegetable and the thought of a salad makes my stomach curdle. My happy cows never inflicted such GI chaos no matter how deliciously rare they were. Hell may be heating up again. Sorry Denny. :)

Hell hath frozen over

I'm going vegan.

As in: No bacon. No happy cow (because as Peter @ Counterbalance sez "Jill, cows are only happy when they aren't SLAUGHTERED."). No tasty chicken and avocado. But more than brown rice. More than a salad once or twice a week. The House Where Veggies Come To Rot will now become a veggie sanctuary.

A few comets collided the past few weeks to come to this decision. I haven't been able to eat much variety the past 3 months since I've been on such a restricted diet to heal my belly. My blood test last week showed that I'm anemic in the Bs and folate, plus my Hashimoto's thyroid fun is back. I've been on a host of supplements and digestive enzymes to try and boost nutrient absorption, but as my head's been telling me....there must be a better way. My coworker's husband is vegan and she suggested looking into some of that cooking as a way to put some variety into my meals so I picked up a book that turned out to be a revelation.

It's called "Thrive" and is written by a former Ironman PRO who's been vegan almost 15 years. The background of his book talks all about stress and its impact on immunity and general health, whether sports or work-induced, plus the nutritional stress that we put on our body from not giving it exactly what it needs to function and recover. This book was showing me that the veggies would come with their own enzymes for my belly and the seeds and pseudograins would charge through with their own mini-booster rockets, all of it allergy-free and gut-happy, ready for my body to soak up. Hearing this from one athlete to another, after just one chapter it...all....made....sense. The author has a 12 week menu plan that I'm going to follow with all kinds of recipes that are actually quite amazing. I'm treating this like a coaching plan, except it all revolves around FOOD! So this weekend I headed down to PCC with Kermit and we loaded up our bag with 45# of vegan goodness (ok 7# of that was a bike lock) including......KALE!!. I spent the next 6 hours playing in the kitchen doing all sorts of cooking and soaking and whirring and dish washing that I'd never in my life done before. It was so fun! And through it all sat little Momo next to his dish wondering why Mom was in the kitchen but not prepping his own dinner.



My other big life epiphany: I've come to accept that getting healthy is my focus for the year, whether it means racing or not. The only way I raced last year was from vitamin doping and this year I've pledged to heal up au natural. It's been a huge process for me to accept this, but once I came to peace with it a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders. I was nearly suffocating from the fact that I may never get healthy enough to feel the adrenaline in the pack again or the power that can emerge from within. It's the high that ragged junkies look for on dark city streets, but under the guise of colorful kits and fine-tuned race machines. Instead, I'm working to broaden my empire and to enjoy living even when it's not cloaked in adrenaline. To live slower yet still keep my mind entertained and creative. I start my first art class in 3 weeks. It's on Tuesday nights so while everyone else is at Fast Track training I'll be sitting in front of my drawing paper training a whole new part of me.

The infinite sadness

The oracle I've been seeing told me today that this is a tumultuous month for energy. The change of seasons from winter to spring is like a riptide, with the cold winter forces pushing and struggling against the emerging newness of spring. Seattle has had a more brutal than normal winter, which has made this riptide even stronger and unpredictable. For those of us intimately tied to the ebbs and flows of the earth's energy this has meant an even harder struggle as we wait for spring's influx of energy like cherry blossoms waiting for their own signs to emerge. Our emotions are more vulnerable, our energy waning as winter's grip seems to tighten further. It's not as simple a clinical definition as SAD, but more about how our body's energy is entwined with the seasons and as they struggle to unfold so do we. My oracle said that I may have to accept that I'm not an early season energy person and may have to shift my energy schedule to later in the year. That's hard to accept when I see healthy squid nymphs racing hard on the weekends already.

I've had a winter of supreme highs and supreme lows. In December we figured out the primary reason for my chronic fatigue: an unhealthy gut riddled with damaging bacteria and yeast, antibodies to gluten, egg, soy, and dairy, and a gut lining so inflamed that nutrients would leak right through it into my bloodstream and overtax my liver. In a nutshell, I have an unhappy belly that won't absorb anything. The extent of the damage is so high that it's shocked my doctor and others and must have been ongoing for years. It's a wonder I've been able to get out of bed (although there have been days). The immediate solution was to put me on an extremely strict diet eliminating all sugar, fruit, booze, vinegar, gluten, soy, egg, and dairy, leaving me with an extensive diet of meat, salads, whatever vegetables I innately tolerate, and rice. There have also been lots of probiotics and toxic herbs to kill the bad yeast and bacteria and glutamine to heal the belly. Within a week I had immediate relief and boundless energy. By the end of December my teammates didn't recognize me as I had lost almost 10# and could keep up with the most fit Cat 3s without even trying. I was bionic and overjoyed at having found this holy grail.

Setback #1: Mid-January my doctor's office couldn't get hold of the toxic herbs I'd been taking so I went without for 2 weeks. Energy nosedived, panic ensued, pounds came back. Even after taking them again I didn't manage to regain my new form, but it was still a great deal better than any time before.

Setback #2: Mid-February caught some of the crud going around, but was fighting it well. Then work became overwhelmingly stressful and the Epstein-Barr knocked on my door and stepped back in. Energy nosedived, more panic ensued, more pounds came back. The diet and medicine is all the same, but nothing is making me better. This compounded by the self-initiated pressure of trying to keep up with those training and racing circles around me threw me into a deep, dark cave that I am struggling to crawl out of. My doctor gave me some new tinctures, but they may have been too toxic and taxed me too much so now I wait to heal....again.

I'm tired of being tired, tired of fighting, tired of being well for 3 weeks then having it stripped away, tired of seeing healthy happy people take for granted what I cry myself to sleep wishing I could have, tired of co-pays, tired of drugs, tired of not being able to enjoy what's around me, tired of looking like I age 3 years for every 1, tired of seeing what's supposed to be left of my younger years spent like I'm 70. Tired of people telling me that my head can change it all. I want to whack them with a Thompson seatpost and ask them what their head feels like telling me now.

Somehow while I was high on being healthy in December I ordered a custom Indy Fab Ti Crown Jewel and Campy Record 10. It's my absolute dream bike and a worthy successor to my steel bike and Fat Chance history. At this point I hope it's delayed a few months until the seasons change and my belly heals and I have the energy to put it through its paces. It's meant to be a race machine, not a tool on the Burke. Or maybe until I'm really ready to come out of my cave it will keep me company in bed.

Yo Dan O

Thanks for the old skool inspiration. You've earned one (1) band-aid.

Ryan Trebon pushed my slow ass

With a smile. Into the sunset. The 3rd time he lapped me.

That, and other fine stories from this weekend's SSCXWC, coming later. In the meantime enjoy this video from CX Mag:

SSCXWC or bust

I'm off to participate in the shenanigans that are the SSCXWC in Portland this weekend. Sharon (now of Team Beer!) threatened to come up here and drag my ass down there if I didn't sign up this week, and excuses about bronchitis and months of work travel were not getting me far. So here I am on this list of participants, right next to the big names of people who actually race their bike A LOT. And WELL.

So I packed every kit piece I own since I'll be coated in mud within 5 minutes of arrival as well as a few special costume pieces for standard Portland CX flare. I'm looking on the sunny side (since it's rained for 4 days straight and there's no where else to look) and hoping that the training my Coast Guard brethren have put me through the past 3 months will give me some strategic advantage. My lungs may be weak, but my liver is STRONG!

We are FREE!!!!!

The scary bad dream is over!!!! Come out from under your covers and CELEBRATE!!!!

Yee Haw!

I'm back in the heart of Texas, this time for an oil spill conference in San Antonio. Goals are some seminars on aerial observations of spills, lessons-learned from last year's fantabulous San Francisco spill, buying a belt buckle the size of Texas, and finding the basement of the Alamo. I will not come home with anything less than 100% success.

Totally funda

Jane, Heather and I hit the RESET button on our Bike Luv computers today, hitting the road on our own in an attempt to remember what it is we love about riding. This had been a horrid week for all of us, making us contemplate why we should keep going forward when all the fun had been stripped like cheap Krylon paint on a beater bike. Thankfully an easy, sunny trip around Mercer Island, blanketed by beautiful rainbow-colored trees and lots of laughter and no stress was the perfect way to find that luv again. By the time we reached the I-90 portal on the way back we were smiling and recharged, our confidence back, cloaked again in the fabric of what makes our team special.

The perfect ending to our ride was having Lane ride up on his Cervelo as we were talking at the portal. I happened to look down at his fork and saw the word, "FUNDA" in small white block letters. I started laughing and pointing at his FUNDA fork, then had to explain its relevance for my amusement. It was the most I'd laughed all week and they agreed that everything we got out of today made it totally funda.

I pity da fool....

This is what goes through my head when I think of people who can't have fun on team rides at the end of a long, exhausting season and at the onset of an even longer winter training season:



My cycling career has been carefully groomed by Pee Wee's Big Adventure over the past 20 years. If there's one characteristic I've adopted the most it's that the person who's having the most fun wins! There is so much more to bikes and racing than being the fastest or who trained the most. Let's lighten up, kids. It will be a long winter of much wet and cold discontent so let's all put our training differences aside and be a team that has some fun together, eh? Put PWBA in your Netflix cue and chill the fuck out.

Mocha's first broccoli

A friend of mine familiar with my disdain for the broccoli sent me this when I said that animals are too smart to eat such an evil, vile plant. Obviously this little guy will grow up to be an EEEEEVIL hamster (but with cute little feet!!).

Reading is Funda-mental

I'm really going to be sorry to see her go in a few weeks. It's not often you get such easy fodder.

Thursday night on the town

My head is still reeling from a night out with my favorite bike hooligans. Scotty, who left us 2 years ago to return to his homeland in the Far North, came back for a night of beach wrestling, bonfires, toxic martinis, broken noobies, and of course lots of bikes.

I've missed riding with these guys, and something has drawn me back. Probably the realization that racing and training will never fully complete my life, but people who love bikes and carving their own trail surely will, much as it always has. (But next time, dudes, TACO TRUCK!)

Yet another South Seatac race

Well that hurt like hell.

Searing lungs - check

Inability to take another step up a "runup" - check

Flailing over barriers - check

Blackberry leaves sticking out of shoe 2 out of 3 laps - check

Screaming at girl who fell for no reason at 3mph on the pavement as I rode over her rear wheel and toppled over and lost at least 5 places on last lap - check

Lose sprint at the finish with nothing left in the tank - check

Uncontrollable drooling when I finally stopped - check

So close to puking, but not quite getting there - check

Did I mention searing lung pain - check check

Many lessons learned at South Seatac today. Biggest one is to not assume at the start that you are behind people who will have a good start. You're in control of your own race destiny. Hoards of women surged around me as I tried to get around those I started behind. I spent most of the race passing nincompoops with no bike handling skills and desperately trying to catch those in front of me who did. I still have crap in my lungs and was in crazy amount of pain breathing. Gotta get that figured out.

Had a great time seeing Ali (3rd!!) and Nancy do so well and hearing that Kelly finished unscathed. Our team had a great turnout and as usual, Eddie was a blessing on the stupid runup screaming "JILLYBEEEEEE!!!!!!" from across the infield. I was a little disappointed finishing midpack, but will cut myself a little slack for being on the bench so long and encountering so many wrecks in front of me. It only makes you determined to do so much better the next time!

More than this

Belguim: more than great beer!

Finally picked up my new Ridley Crosswind this week!


She's my first foray into the modern world of aluminum and carbon fiber (not to mention Shimano shifter/brake levers....what are these? Joysticks?). The last time I rode an aluminum frame was around 1996 on my old 1993 Cannondale (which replaced my 1987 Cannondale). Dang these frames have come a long way! Took her for her maiden voyage on Tuesday up the B-G and even then I could tell that this was one mighty fine bike. Bumps? Gravel? Dirt? Like buttah!! Seems like those carbon fiber forks live up to their reputation and aluminum isn't just the thick, beer can tubing of years past. So THIS is why people ride fancy modern bikes!!

Next we went to the Wed night CX training (holy hell I'm outta shape!) and she handled and rode like a dream - no jackhammering like my other steel frames that left my hands numb. And gears! Wow, when did those get invented? They're GREAT! Too bad I'm still so winded from 3 weeks off the bike and crud in my lungs to give this bike a true run for its money. For now it will be lots of play time and $20 training rides on Sunday mornings. And rides on the dirt during my commute! Grrrrrr.....outta my way joggers!

If it's too loud.....

Just got a phone call that my music is too loud and the new person downstairs can't fall asleep. Sweet! The new speakers I got yesterday for my computer are officially deemed a success! What good is a subwoofer if you can't feel the base? What did I bother the poor lass with?

Britney Spears, The Bubblegum Pop Remixes

Hell YEAHZZ!!

Where I been

Finally back from 2 1/2 weeks of working in Houston on Hurricane Ike messes. Funny that an AP article came out today on what we were doing and they even quote and have pics of the friends that I worked with:


Having a hard time getting back on the bike. I'm completely wiped out and EBV is ramping up. I've averaged 12 hrs of sleep the past 3 nights I've been back, a far cry from the 3-5 hrs I was getting in Texas. All my momo-tivation is towards laying on the couch and napping. Commuting and racing seem so....distant and haaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrd....

It's not supposed to happen

I'm so sorry Jen. Jane described you as, "leaving a trail of smiles everywhere she goes." They're a trail of tears right now, but you have a world of love around you that will make sure you smile again.

We love you Quadzilla.

To the sand pits!

So Gustov turned into a big fat nothing for those of us who respond to environmental disasters. Lots of wind and rain and power outages that will take up to 4 months to restore so FEMA is busy, but not us. So I get to stay local and.......ready my lame as for cyclocross season!!!

I did my first race in 2 years this Labor Day and had a shit eating grin for all 35ish minutes of the singlespeed race. I raced yee ole Fat Chance that I did quite well on in 2005, but 10# later it's a little tougher to get that steel rig around. Regardless, I had a blast and smirked for all three laps as the bell on my handlebars "tingtingting-ed" over every grassy bump and tree root and annoyed the living crap out of the other racers (mwhahahaha). The race course was fantastic, really long with lots of fun singletrack, a little pavement, and that bloody sandpit taken from the top instead of the bottom - so much for practicing my line from the bottom. I made it through anyway powered by sheer stubbornness.

My teammates RULE. At one of the woodsy runups, all I wanted to do was walk up, but from the bottom I could hear Ed at the top bellowing through the forest, "GO JILLYBEEEEEEE!!!" It made me laugh even harder and realize I had to give them a show and dig into that stupid hillside and get my ass up. Thanks so much for the encouragement, y'all.

No surprise, I ended up DFL in singlespeed against all the wily, fast men, but I did come in first woman! Ha! My new Ridley should be coming in soon so its gears and I will race Cat 4 in an effort to upgrade to 3 this season. Singlespeed will be by special appearance only. Like the SSCXWC08 in Portland with Sharon! More beer! (Aye, but should I really be on the same registration list as all those Elites? The universe really isn't supposed to work like that.)

Next stop, Counterbalance's CopperCross next Sunday back at Seatac!