The wonders of my knee

Saw my doc today as a follow up to the xray and MRI I had done on my knee the other week. That week of tele skiing in BC had done me in and it was time to see what was rumbling under the hood. Fifteen years has past since its last inspection and I sure got my copay's worth! You may recall that I optimistically thought it would just be a bunch of yummy scar tissue. Oh no.

1) Re-torn ACL - I AM STUNNED, yet remarkably flabbergasted at the awesomeness of my leg strength to adapt to this handicap. And in all my ignorance I cannot believe that I've been running around and trying to ski with NO ACL. Those of you who don't know this cute little ligament - it basically stabilizes your whole knee, connecting the tibia and femur, and w/o it your knee buckles and you fall and hurt more delicate features. Picture yourself with a rubber chicken as your right leg, now try to go play. I tore this ACL back in 1988 and it was very annoying to have it buckle intermittently until I finally had it repaired in 1993. She doesn't know how long it's been torn, but I have no idea when I could have done this over the last 15 years. I guess that woman rugby player who tried to pick me up at the gym years ago was right when I tried to insist that I couldn't play w/o an ACL: " I don't have an ACL," she said alluringly.

2) Torn lateral meniscus and medial meniscus - Oh boy torn cartilage!! I had one of these repaired in 1988, guess it's time again!

3) Chondromalacia - More damaged cartilage! This is more cartilage under the kneecap and on the femur. Pain increases with bending! This is why tele and walking downhill hurts like HELL. Joy!!

4) Osteoarthritic changes - Yay arthritis!! She said it's just starting and that it could be mitigated with glucosamine and chondroitin supplements and maybe surgery to clean it out.

She was expecting to put me in surgery soon, but I said NO THANKS, maybe next year. It doesn't interfere with my cycling, which is all that matters right now. So my backcountry skiing dreams are indefinitely postponed. I'll keep the fire going for y'all and drink all the Baileys myself!

Oh bother

I was just going to say that I've been in full Eeyore-mode the past few weeks as life pulls one rug after the other from under me. Then I noticed a remarkable resemblance between my new team photo and this picture of Eeyore, minus the pink bow in my pigtail. If you've seen my team photo you should be laughing by now, otherwise you'll have to wait for our new team site to go public, like any time this summer.

Someone said "Good morning, Jill" to me on the trail this morning and I was so blinded by the SUN of all things, that I could not make out who it was, only a friendly feminine voice. I thought it was Miss Jen, but that was eventually ruled out. I'll just think it was my fairy godmother out for a sunny morning ride.

Spent the long weekend up in Vancouver with newly visa-ed Zack and our bikes. Amazingly bike and ped-friendly. Well marked bike routes, bike blvds, well maintained roads, curb-side signals for bikes to change the stop light, and wallet-sized foldable bike maps. This city did a great job making Seattle look like a total hick town. It's depressing that our officials have let Seattle get this far behind in safe or bike-friendly infrastructure despite inflating sales and property taxes. Oh, and did I mention Canada's free health care? We watched Sicko, too. Depressing.

The nice surprise was the organic bakery around the corner from his new house that had a Pie and Chai special and even had a full list of gluten free pie and soy ice cream! YUM!! I may have visited more than once.

Only 8 days until LOST is back. I miss Hurley and Locke.

Stubborn with a side of stupid

Last night we had another massive winter storm. Lots of heavy rain that turned to sleet...then snow. Overnight the skies cleared and the temperature dropped, leaving the morning with mass amounts of ice covering the entire city.

Never one to listen to the word of reason, esp when it comes to bikes, I mounted my CX tires onto my singlespeed and stepped outside. When everything beneath your feet glistens from the ice, you know it's going to be a long ride to work. I slid on my cleats down my big hill, let out some tire pressure, gingerly got onto the main arterial and made my way down to the Ballard Locks rather than deal with dicey traffic and the Ballard Bridge. The sun was high and warm down in Ballard, but once I was on the Burke, I realized it would take many hours of warm sunshine to melt that coat of thick ice. I tried going on another main road, but I was not fond of dealing with big cars driving on black ice.

An HOUR later, I made it to Fremont. I decided to hole up at Peets and let the world warm up a little before proceeding. I hugged my Americano and watched other cyclists walk their bikes over the ice or mash through on mtbs. Thirty minutes went by and I gave it another go. There was still mass amounts of ice in the bike lanes and on the Burke, so I navigated to Northlake which was gloriously wet and clear of ice. Once at UW, I hopped back on the Burke and chopped through slowly melting ice. Up by TiCycles I could get onto the dirt trail, which my CX tires dug into with glee and even broke through the icy patches.

2 1/2 hours later, I got to work. The sun is still high so hopefully this shit will melt throughout the day. I'm going up to Vancouver this weekend to visit my handsome fellow and we're going to buy a few bottles of wine and build some studded tires. I have a deep need to be destructive so this will be a marvelous outlet.

Sunshine!

Happy! Sunshine! Bikes! Track! Pacelines! Go Fast! Friends! More!!

Bailey

And you think you love snow? No, you don't. Really.

For sweet Rose

Our teammate's partner, Rose, passed away this morning after many years of battling cancer throughout her young life. She was adamant that Lance Armstrong had it easy. What most people don't know is that his cancer is one of the most treatable out there, while his "miraculous" recovery made the rest of the world's cancer patients appear weaker or less of a super hero.

Rose was a super hero. She came to many of our races to cheer us on even if she just had chemo the day before. She would bundle herself up and be so tired that she could barely get up, but it gave her great joy to see her partner race and to be an honorary member of the team. One of the funniest times was when she and Heather rented one of those crazy fancy expandable RVs and drove it to the Walla Walla stage race so they'd have someplace cozy to spend 4 days. Turns out that Heather couldn't drive the rig so Rose channeled her inner truck driver and drove the whole way there and back. Ever try to k-turn an RV? Rose did. Ever get chased off the suburban streets of Walla Walla by the local cops and have to retreat to the Wal-Mart parking lot? Rose did.

As it so happens, in 2008 our team has a new partnership with the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA) where Rose received much support and treatment. Our team plans to do a lot of outreach with the SCCA because many of us feel that there is so much more to racing that just collecting points and striving to crush the competition. A kit is more than just flashy sponsorship. We want it to echo "I make a difference in a cancer patient's life," whether it's fundraising or taking them for a ride around Greenlake. Sometimes having the sun rise in the morning is more than another day to be stronger, sometimes it's a gift from heaven.

Much love to our teammate during this time and to sweet Rose for making us better people.

2008: Now with left tele turns!

Spent a week over New Year's with good friends and a cute boy up at Kicking Horse ski area in Golden, BC. Not nearly as much dumpage as the Cascades have been getting, but it was a fantastically huge mountain with lots of terrain (i.e. lots of green runs for gumbies like myself). Most of all it was a great chance to put in many hours on my tele skis to see if I could improve any.

Good news: I can now make a real left tele-turn! No more just turning to the right for me. There were a few marvelous epiphanies about weight distribution and positioning that made my turns actually work really well. Zack took some footage of me looking somewhat competent going down the slope, albeit in slo-freakin'-motion. Someone speed me up! One of these days I'll be able to stop worrying about going too fast and work with the skis and the terrain rather than have them work me.

Bad news: All this bending and turning and working against the skis so much has left my right knee most unpleased with this new activity and it swelled up after a few days, leaving me in too much pain for any more turns. Time to finally have someone check out what's been happening in there since my last reconstructive surgery 15 years ago. Hopefully just a mess of scar tissue that can be broken down in a few physical therapy appointments (right?). Nothing like another nagging injury to have lined up in the queue.

Otherwise it was a wonderful break from anything work related and I'm stoked to get back on the bike (something I can do well!!) and start training my ass off. It feels like I've been off the bike for years. Now if it would let up raining......

Blast off

Whew. Made it back to my home planet after spending 3 days on the distant rock where my parents live. It's always very difficult living among them and their people, even for a few days. I am treated like an alien who 1) looks weird (socks have to match? they just keep me warm), 2) eats weird food ("Does anyone want to try her GLOO-ten free pancakes? They taste just like real pancakes."), 3) participates in strange activities (plays in mnts, travels, bike commutes), and 4) does not associate with their native past times (digital television's 500 tv stations, afternoons watching football, wanting to put all prisoners on Alcatraz so they can kill each other and we won't have to pay for their containment, etc.).

I tried to get my faithful rocket ship ready for an emergency early departure, but there were some technical difficulties so I had to wait it out and blast off at the assigned hour.

Highlights: My mom loved her recycled glass tile plant stand that I made her. My dad loved his trove of Smartwool cycling socks. Watching how ridiculously happy dogs are with stuffed toys that squeak. It was sunny. Finally reading Steinbeck's book on King Arthur and his Knights.

(imagination = salvation)

The contents of my backpack

This is one of the stranger collections I've had at one time:

- Sheep's milk feta
- Whole Foods gluten-free pizza crust
- Organic canned tomatoes (yes there is a pattern)
- Phytogen supplements
- Vitamin D supplements
- Bumble & Bumble Creme de Coco shampoo
- An orange
- A grout application stick thingee
- Bottle of silicon grout sealer (aha another pattern)
- 1 Superfeet shoe insole (I couldn't find the other)
- Unused gym clothes because I never got there today
- Lavender oil so I don't stink so bad after (not) going to the gym
- Bike pump
- Flat tire accessories
- 3 vials of drugs that need to be refilled
- Patch from the Gulf of the Farallones
- ID badge from the spill
- Lunch-time tupperware

I'm finally out of work before 8 p.m. so I'm off to fill it up some more with Xmas goodies for a cute boy that I love.

POW-gasmic!

I spent not ONE, but TWO days skiing in major dumpage powder fluff this weekend. On Saturday Zack, Denny, Sketchy, Eric, and I went to Stevens Pass for the season's inagural gear shakedown. The lifts were still closed, but we skinned up a bunch, came down through big poofy batches of powder, and fell a few times in between. It was so silly fun and felt even better to be outside playing in the snow while the rest of the western WA metropolis was drenched in rain, sleet, and even a little snow. YUCK! Rumor is that my team spent the morning riding their bikes on trainers in a parking garage!! WTF??? HELLO! The Great Outdoors are calling!

After such fun Saturday, Zack and I needed more so we drove all the way to Mt. Baker for even more heavy POWage, but this time with the aid of mechanical lifts. It dumped all day during the many runs, and ended with 100 mph winds that shut the lifts down a little early. I was in the lodge by then, my legs wondering what the hell I was doing with them this weekend. Do squats while bouncing along on two planks? Are you NUTS?!?! Have you heard of this invention called a COUCH?

Big props go out to all the adept snowboarders and skiers at Baker who are skilled enough to give a gumby tele-skier like myself a wide, wide berth.

And even bigger thanks to my boyfriend who, despite all the faceplants and uncontrolled left turns I do, continues to be seen with me.

YUM!!

Mountain snow springs eternal

We're going to play in the snow this weekend and I am SO excited to get the heck out of dodge and away from anything with 2 wheels. Funny that I'm already burned out on bikes and I didn't really even have a season, but I find that the mental anguish of being sick doles out its own helping of frustrations and disappointments, especially when you're trying to come back and no where near the level you should be. This winter I promise to be more balanced in my activities to prevent the kind of burnout that comes from focusing so hard on one activity that you forget everything else that has the potential to make you happy: skiing all day in the fresh, clean air; snowshoeing under quiet, gray-cloaked skies; rubbing snow angels into the earth; warm mountain cabins; and building smiling snowmen with mossy beards to greet other hikers along the way.

So tonight I dusted off my favorite tele book to brush up on my skills and visualize smooth, bouncy tele turns and snowy bliss with my fuzzy mountain man. With the newly dumping snow comes a newly rejuvenated me.

3rd Annual Ride for the Pies

mmmmmm.....PIE!!! That's what motivated 7 of us to set off on our bikes under super sunny skies Thanksgiving Day to ride from Seattle to Fall City. I had just arrived from San Francisco that morning and had enough time to eat one of Zack's wonderful omlettes, chug some coffee, and pack my gear for the rest of the day's adventure. Unlike the previous two years' cold rain, this ride was far too easy....dry pavement....brilliant sunshine....until we dropped down Novelty Hill, through a thermocline, and into the Carnation Valley. The late afternoon temperature easily dropped 10 degrees and the frost covering the ground indicated we were in for a bone chilling evening. By the time we hit the Nestle Farms the sun had set, the moon was lighting the valley, and feet and hands were already completely numb. With about 10 miles to go we could only think of mass amounts of pie and a warm fireplace. Onward we rode, increasing our pace to get to the finish faster, but damned by the wind chill that mocked our efforts.

The moon and stars were striking as we made it to Janna's around 5:30 p.m. We thawed out in front of her fireplace and devoured the first pumpkin pie and a few rounds of beer and mulled wine. We later moved on to strawberry/rhubarb, then pecan, then more berry cobbler......mmmm.......can a tradition of riding 48 miles and eating tons of wonderful food get any better?

Today there was more brilliant sunshine, so while Zack hiked up Granite with Denny and Ash, I opted to be the only person to ride all the way back to Seattle. I quickly found out that riding back is way harder, not only because you're tired and loaded down by pecan pie, but because it's a longer grade getting out of the Carnation Valley and it never...ever....ends. Woodinville-Duvall Road? SUCKS. The Burke was a welcome relief as I knew every bump and waypoint, but the last stretch after Matthew's Beach....SUCKS. I swear my body always knows that it's almost done and throws in the towel a little early despite being 10 miles out. I finally pulled into home as the sun was setting, my feet and hands not quite frozen, but my heavy Messquerade sweatshirt never felt so good.

One week of sitting on my butt at an oil spill, the next 2 days riding ~100 miles under beautiful fall skies and getting some color back on my face. Thanksgiving? You bet.

BikeSnobNYC line of the day

"Cinelli have become the bicycle equivalent of a middle-aged divorcee in a Versace dress who drinks too much and starts hanging all over you in a hotel bar."

OUCH. Glad I finally ditched my Cinelli bars and Cinelli-specific stem last year. Wouldn't want to be seen hanging around with a hag like that. But they do still make a damn fine cork tape.

Movin' on up

Today was by far the most cush since I got here 4 days ago. I've been so busy or tired working on the response that I haven't been able to go to a restaurant to sit down for real food for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I've just been snacking on what I stocked up on at Whole Foods Friday night or not eating at all (they don't call it the Oil Spill Diet for nothing). But today, I actually went out to eat with locals, Jesse and Shawna, at a cute little Italian place up the hill from Crissy Field. I was so excited to be sitting down for normal conversation, with non-work people, eating hot food and drinking a glass of wine, that I actually broke my diet and had a piece of chocolate mouse cake. YUM!!!!

Afterwards, I moved into my new hotel at Fisherman's Wharf. Now that the week-long Oracle conference was over, rooms had finally opened in the city close to the command post and we wouldn't have to make the arduous commute from Oakland anymore. I opened the door to my room and - it didn't smell!!! Finally....my clothes wouldn't reek of the stench of a 20-year old smoking room. Instead, my beds were decorated like a fancy, multi-layered cake. I had more pillows than I knew what to do with. Were they like utensils at a fancy dinner party? Do I start with the outside pillow and move in? I wanted to jump up and down on my new, clean beds to break them in and make sure I wasn't dreaming.

I still have some work to finish up, but I can do it in my jammies while watching the flat-screen tv on my cushy down bed. Sad, no TBS or VH-1. The best thing about hotels is the sugar-coated cable tv shows.

My peeps go in front of the congressional hearing tomorrow morning to give testimony about the spill. The public, media, and Belt-Way suits want heads to roll, but it's not going to be our group. We're a fine-tuned, scientific response machine. We kick ass and I'm honored to be part of such an amazing team.

Map madness

I have my spill responder hat on this week down at the oil spill in San Francisco Bay. I'm making all sorts of maps for the responders and scientists assessing the damage to the shorelines and natural resources. Eelgrass, rocky shorelines, sandy beaches, birds, fish, invertebrates, marine mammals, and even historical and cultural resources are all being accounted for and assessed on a daily basis by all the top people. Most of them have been working 14 hour days for over a week and they're pretty whipped. I'm fresh meat, which is a welcome dose of energy to the tired troops. Nothing beats huge welcoming hugs and arms held high in signs of hallelujah from my coworkers and people that I've worked with at other responses.

Not sure how long I'll be down here, probably through TDay, which means I'll miss the 3rd Annual Ride for the Pies. Serious bummer! I also only brought 4 pairs of undies since I got caught off guard coming down here and most of my supply was in the hamper. I figure I can make do with the hotel sink, but in my experience underoos don't dry very well in a hotel room. I needed some new ones anyway so this will be good incentive to go shopping.

The newest Kenny-bot

I'm officially a Kenny-bot now. I signed up to have Kenny Williams hold my leash for the next year to keep me healthy and out of trouble as I ramp up for my first full season in...how long? Oh, 2 years. Jane will be my faithful sidekick as we roll our eyes at yoga and Zone 2 all winter long, then puke over the rail after our Pain Locker track workouts this spring and summer. I have a few specific track racing goals in mind, but for now I told Kenny that my primary goal is to have a full season and to be smart about my training and racing. So I've handed over the leash. So far I'm digging all the wisdom he's shared. He did a fantastic job bringing Jane back after she got sick, and he's dealing with another hot racer with EBV, so the guy has been broken in well. Stay tuned.

It's just a flesh wound

The day I sprained my wrist, Zack and I had planned a day trip to Goldmyer Hot Springs, which would include riding our bikes in 4 miles from the closed gate. Never one to let a silly injury interfere with a hot soak, I used his fabulous K2 suspension mountain bike to negotiate the muddy and gravely road.


My revelations after returning to the car after dark:

1) What's better than coasting? GEARS!!
2) If I can't see what's in front of me, going faster makes it better!
3) Suspension bikes are like riding a bed!!

Fisherman's Terminal 1, Me 0

Last night Zack and I enjoyed dinner and bevs at Brouwers, a chance encounter with 2 teammates, then a trip down the trail to the Ballard Market. On the way I caught a glimpse in my light of something green, black, and woolen on the trail. We circled back and found a pretty sparkly green and black woolen hat alone and lost on the wet trail. Booty!! Once we collected our foodstuff at the store, we came out to find rain and a guy sitting on the hottest DIY bike: an old blue Peugeot frame with an 18" wheel on the back, a 24" wheel on the front, and ape bars about 4' high. He was super nice and from Michigan. He'd lost his old bike and this one came into his life for free. It was such a cute pairing it totally made my night.

Over the Ballard Bridge in the rain. We were heading down the ramp to Fisherman's Terminal when suddenly Zack stopped cold in front of me and all I could do was slam on the brakes, which were useless coated in fresh rain on slick pavement. I swerved around him so not to slam into his rear, but on the other side was met with one of Fisherman's Terminal's finest - a spaced-out bum on a rickety bike going uphill. As I hurled towards him knowing there was no chance of stopping, I prepared myself and thought, "This is gonna hurt."

I plowed into the bum and knocked us around. We ricocheted off each other and the railings on either side that kept us from bouncing into the street. After my abrupt stop, he started apologizing and Zack started scolding him for not looking up or paying attention to who else was on the trail. I didn't really hear what they were saying because I was staring at my left arm, which was quickly seizing up and beginning to throb. The old guy smelled of really bad cologne. I poked at Zack to move him along, away from this useless argument. I walked down the rest of the hill and mounted my bike for the one-handed ride up the other hill home.

After a night of icing and a morning of teammates playing Mom, I went to the Ballard Swedish ER (the ONLY ER you should ever let anyone go to) to get some x-rays. Only an hour later, the doc said it was a bad sprain, but that there was bone and ligament damage from old injuries that would require attention (Oh, you mean from the 2 other times I've fucked up this wrist?). So now I have to see an ortho specialist who may suggest that I have surgery to repair some bone and ligaments, but I really have no interest in this. This wrist has gotten pretty banged up before and it's a matter of letting the swelling go down, taping it up, and wincing a bit when I have to brake hard (enter the fixed gear!!).

For now it's a bag of frozen peas on my arm and a few days of vacation. And being extra wary of bums emanating from Fisherman's Terminal.

Ship go boom

There's a big oil spill down in San Francisco Bay, which many of my coworkers are responding to. A huge container ship hit the Oakland Bay Bridge and tore a 100' gash in its side, which also spilled ~58,000 gallons of IFO 380 (that's the heavy black goo) into the Bay. We just had a huge drill down there last year simulating the response to a similar spill, so the silver lining is that the best possible people are down there doing some very stressful, time-crunching work. As for the public's perception that the Coasties' response was delayed and this spill could have been minimized or contained sooner, BACK OFF. There are issues in determining how much oil a ship has lost when it has a 100' hole in it and when there is a layer of dense fog over the Bay preventing overflights. If you want to bitch, give it to the Responsible Party. The Coasties and everyone else I know who's down there are the best in the business. Our coastlines are in good hands. Now shut up, get in your SUV, drive to the store, and get me a beer.

Photo: Sea star and persistent tar balls at Muir Beach

Ying, yang, and the bang bang

If you're hip to bad cycling movies, you'll know this is a line from one of my favorites, "American Flyers". I introduced my team to the classic one weekend when we were staying up in Sequim for the Tour de Dung series. The tale of the little brother David and nasty skanky Muzzin racing the Coors Classic gave us oodles of props for the next day. "Enough of this Sunday ride, let's hurt a little!"

But today's ying yang has more to do with last week's enormous Full Moon - now waning - wrecking havoc on many people around me, including myself:

- Seattle Int'l Randonneur - Shot with a bb gun on his commute home by some people in a car. Two bullets lodged in his lung and diaphram. In great spirits and doing well.
- Teammate Alyson - Broken elbow, just had surgery, pins in elbow, out for an indeterminate time
- Coworker/officemate/friend - Fired in a big time, 3 day showdown at work. It sucked. I'm still trying to clean her area. It will take a few days. It's mentally exhausting. We're all worried that she's ok, but I don't think we'll hear from her again.
- Friend Randall - T-boned in car by idiot SUV driver running a red light while yapping on a cell phone. Car totaled. Luckily he's ok. Lots of witnesses to pin the bimbo's ass.
- Me - Took an offer to ride Charles' precious, new, 0.38mm thin Columbus steel, Marinoni frame only to accidentally bang and dent the top tube on some pannier racks when trying to put it back. If there is one person in the local cycling scene that you do not want to piss off, it's Charles. If there is one person in the local cycling scene whose precious, new, beloved bike you don't want to fuck up, it's Charles. One word: SUCKSTOBEME

On the good side:
- I'm healthy and doing well
- Everyone else I know is healthy and doing well (get well Alyson!!)
- Due to bullet #3 above, I have some undeniable job security
- I woke up this morning to Momo rolling in a pile of catnip covering my kitchen floor. Little punk had found the bag and had a catnip orgy all night long. Nippers Anonymous arrived by afternoon for an intervention.
- I've lost 5# the past month thanks to eliminating all the major food allergens and all-around bad stuff: wheat, gluten, sugar, soy, corn, potatoes, and dairy. Shooting for another 15 more by March.
- I'm trying to get set up with a great coach to assist in my comeback. If he'd call me back.

Hopefully next Friday's New Moon will set us up for more fortunate events and no more setbacks as the moon waxes towards full. If you can, stay at home in your footie pajamas with some books and a sun lamp and don't come out until next weekend.